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Posted by / 01-Aug-2016 12:03

While it’s nice to say, “I want to meet someone organically, where our eyes meet, so I can feel chemistry”, that simply doesn’t happen very often. My first love, in 2003, was a Filipino woman that worked in the pharmaceutical industry and lived in a different part of town. I have dozens of clients who are married, engaged and in love with people they met online. So let’s acknowledge the flaws of online dating: the liars, the bores, the flakes, the crazies, the morons, the perverts, the poor spellers, and so on. The third, and most popular choice, is to quit and wait for your soulmate to drop out of the sky, like “The Secret” for love. Your best bet is to keep dusting yourself off, learning from your mistakes, and staying in the game. But sometimes, with enough perseverence (as well as luck, timing, a good profile and a positive attitude), you’ll fall in love.And if it hasn’t happened to you yet, you can say “What’s wrong with these terrible people on these awful sites?” Or will bringing it up at all make me seem needy and jealous? It’s like making a New Years resolution to do cardio, but refusing to ever set foot in the gym. Maybe this guy needs a dictionary to clarify the term “exclusive,” but, by pretty much any standard, “exclusive” doesn’t mean logging onto Match to peruse other women. You want to know how the concept of “mirroring” (seen in “Why He Disappeared”) plays into online dating. If he emails you immediately, you email him back immediately. If he asks for your phone number, give it to him with a time to call.Which is why I’m very comfortable redefining your relationship, Vanessa as “non-exclusive.” You’re just seeing a guy who’s making grand proclamations that you want to hear. If he follows up for a second date and you’re interested, accept.

If you choose to wait for lightning to strike until you go on another date with the “right” guy, you might be waiting a long, long time. Listen, you might think I’m nuts to keep on preaching positivity. All I know is that it’s freakin’ HARD to meet someone.Aside from my own luck and the trendy radio ads and sexy commercials, it seems as if no one’s happy.Dear Geoff, Glad to hear you found someone special, and even happier that you spoke up.Most of the people that write about online dating write about what’s wrong with it. I mean, that’s what news is – emphasize the bad, misery loves company, etc.Turn on the TV and it’s not about kittens being saved from trees, but drive-by shootings.

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I was thinking of giving it a few weeks and if it doesn’t come up, to say something along the lines of “Since we’re exclusive now does that mean I should take my profile down?